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February 2, 2013
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a nauseating fear by BritLawrence a nauseating fear by BritLawrence
edit: changed main file.. same content, different shot and edit.

took this about 3 weeks ago i think? i just remember i was reallyyyyy emotional when i wrote this. i mixture of frustration/desperation/suicidal ideation/anger/hopelessness and lots of tears. i just had an urge to write this to get out some of my frustration and put my thoughts on paper.. threw some pills all over that i was sorting for the week after they reminded me of how fucked up i am. so yeah.. there's the story behind that. not looking for attention/sympathy, just hoping this might help others like me in a way so that they know that they're not alone. wish i could change a few things about it, like the angle, but i don't remake things that i made with raw emotion. it's very hard to duplicate
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:iconfeatherflighte:
FeatherFlighte Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Trust me, no matter how much you are going through it will get better.  I know you said you aren't looking for sympathy, but please know that it does does does does getter better, I promise, never lose hope.
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014   Photographer
Thank you for this. Huggle! 
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:icon1000photos:
1000Photos Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
You and me both. But sometimes, I feel like if someone told me that, they'd be lying, cuz everything is not gonna be ok. sometimes it feels like it will never be ok again.
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:iconavgreen:
avgreen Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Some times I hope people will tell me its okay too... But IT WILL BE OKAY!!!! :hug:
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013   Photographer
:tighthug:
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:iconravensxgirl:
RavensXGirl Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Student General Artist
Me too :/
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013   Photographer
:aww: :glomp:
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:iconcarletto47:
carletto47 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is indeed very emotional it is some thing I can not relate too as have never suffered such .Never the less this pic really hits you.
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:iconshine-hikaru:
Shine-Hikaru Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow...it was only when I read your description was when I realized that the things surrounding the note were pills. Ugh, I'm going blind.

Anyway, a really great shot. Has a great and strong impact and I'm sure that many people need support right now with all the things going through. 2013 in my place has been rocky so far, but hopefully everyone can pull through in the end.

But this is just a random little thing, but sometimes it's hard to tell people that it's okay when they just push you away and keep saying it's not...;n;
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013   Photographer
i don't really do that anymore, we're not all the same you know

but thank you for you comment, i appreciate your opinion
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:iconshine-hikaru:
Shine-Hikaru Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Then that's good. When did I insinuate that everyone in the world was having problems? Okay, so we all do (with varying degrees) and of course, we're not all the same. When did I say otherwise? .3.
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:iconjagdwolf:
Jagdwolf Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013
Everything will be ok, when you are in control of your life. Others can say bad and horrible things, can do all kinds of physical damage but remember this....

You are not alone, reach out to friends for a paw up. We are the strongest animal on this planet when we remember we are not alone.
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   Photographer
Thank you for that. I needed it. :hug:
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:iconfreethesanity:
FreeTheSanity Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Student Photographer
♥♥♥
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:iconcskadoz:
cskadoz Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013   General Artist
way awesome high impact, universally relate-able! :highfive:
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:iconthedrowningraven:
TheDrowningRaven Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't worry, you're not alone... :manhug:
Reply
:iconbennypebbles:
BennyPebbles Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Everything is going to be okay
Reply
:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013   Photographer
:hug:
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:iconbennypebbles:
BennyPebbles Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
:huggle:
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:iconxxemowolfmoonxx:
XXEmoWolfMoonXX Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student General Artist
this is how I feel right now....
Reply
:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013   Photographer
:poke:

you'll get through it. i did. i do every day of my life. multiple times. but here i am, still alive. :huggle:
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:iconxxemowolfmoonxx:
XXEmoWolfMoonXX Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Ok
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:iconvoltex12345:
Voltex12345 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you want people to lie?
the lie is love...
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013   Photographer
?
explain what you mean, im a bit confused
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:iconvoltex12345:
Voltex12345 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hmm?
oh..
yes well sometimes lies are told to protect certain disturbed minds from the hard truth...
it can pain...
i thought this post had somewhat that message included somehow XD
i can understand such measures tho...
in fact there are people who I've labeled "Silent heroes"
that are basically people who dedicate their lives to live a lie so to speak...
making the necessary sacrifices for others whilst masking their true intentions.
as in... making necessary bad deeds for the greater good. and exchanging their image, as in being seen as horrible people in the stead of "doing the right thing"

if you're a Naruto fan it's much like Itachi.

it most times ends up in people getting even more hurt the later they learn the truth.
considering i'm a close follower of your works (which i apreciate and find awesome BTW :D) i myself study these behaviors and in fact i have intoduced Welcome to you already before.
it's a mix of morality...
maybe i just confused you with all this lol
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:iconpokelovermeso:
PokeLoverMeso Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Professional General Artist
i wish there had been someone there for me when i went through my depression to tell me it was going to be okay.
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:iconbritlawrence:
BritLawrence Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013   Photographer
well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'm here. : )
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:iconpokelovermeso:
PokeLoverMeso Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Professional General Artist
same to you :huggle:
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